You are a heart operation

If I could have my heart cut out tomorrow
Knowing its parts could be used to help him live another eight years
I would consent to this with joy
And that is how I know that
Although I’ve not experienced much in life
That
I have
TRULY
Loved

The other day
I realised
That whilst we can’t know
Within our lifetimes
Whether there is a God
That anyone who has ever had the privilege
Of having felt loved by
A being whose mind has not been adulterated by
The possession of ego
Or language
Can be certain
That they have been
TRULY
Known
And
TRULY
Seen
And
TRULY
Loved
For who they
TRULY
Are

You could be the most famous person on Earth
But never have been
TRULY
Known
Nor
TRULY
Seen
Nor
TRULY
Loved

My dog knows me better
Than the limited capabilities of words
Could ever muster
He knows me better
Than reflecting on the implications of his actions on his identity
Could ever permit

And recently I’ve learnt something else about him too
That his spirit refuses to default to self-pity
That his spirit
INSISTS
On joy
Even when he must surely know by now
That rolling on his back
Will set off his cough
Yet he still rolls on his back
He is
STUBBORNLY
Happy

He has shown me
When I have
For years and years and years
Clung onto self-pity
Believing this to be
My one way of staying true
To who I had once been
He has shown me
That choosing happiness
Is to prove authenticity
To a far greater extent
Than choosing self-pity
Could ever accomplish
And I could only ever have learnt this from him
Because
Unlike us old humans
He isn’t choosing happiness
To inspire anyone
Nor to feel better about who he is
Nor to make sense of his pain
No
He is choosing happiness
Simply
Because
He is
Stubborn

My dad instilled in me
A belief that I had to
Earn happiness
That happiness was something to feel guilty about possessing
Unless you’d done enough to
Earn it first
But my dog has shown me
That happiness is in fact
The most noble
The most strong
The most beautiful
Choice

I wonder how life would’ve been
Had I known this from the start
I wonder how life would’ve been
Had I had a dad
Who’d wanted to see me happy

I rarely ever did enough
To justify whatever happiness I’d feel
To my dad
Nor
I’m sure
In part
As a result of this
To myself

Thank you Abu
For teaching me this lesson
About happiness
And
For TRULY knowing me
For TRULY seeing me
For TRULY loving me
And for showing me
How much I can
TRULY love