Maybe will try to complete ‘Truly Live’

I feel so blank. It’s hard to see past the current moment. Maybe as a way to cope I should try to finish my track ‘Truly Live’.

I don’t know what the future holds, it’s more uncertain than ever now without my dad, but maybe I can try to finish this track, because it’s so beautiful. I made it in March but it started playing in my head this morning after learning my dad passed.

I think he’d like the track too, even though he didn’t like all my music. It’s really beautiful, I’m not exaggerating, perhaps the most beautiful track I’ve ever created.

If I’m up to it, perhaps from Wednesday, I could start to try and finish the track. I have footage for its music video too, so I could edit its video together, but this time I would try to work in the order of track first, as it seems I so often get a music video finished when its track is not yet mixed.

Ok, if I’m up to it, from Weds, I will try to work on the track ‘Truly live’. I believe it was a short track, not sure if I would extend it to full length or leave it short, so would try to decide on that, and then mix it. Then make the video for it.

It’s the only way I can think of to cope with my dad’s death. It’s such a beautiful track. I’d written its lyrics from my perspective but I realise now that my dad could’ve sung those lyrics as he never ‘truly lived’.

I will try from Weds if I’m up to it. I think it would connect. Would be bittersweet if it’s the track that gets me my audience, as of course, I’d wanted my dad to see me connect with the world, but I suppose if I pay tribute to him with it, then that’s something.

And even if it doesn’t connect with anyone, if I could just complete a project I was proud of, after so long, that could give me hope for my future, for wanting to keep going. I know I have a gift, I’ve just been poor at sharing it with the world thus far.