I allow myself to write
About my suffering
But every day
The news tells me
Of far more extreme evils happening
Today I read about a girl of seven in India
Who after being gang-raped
Had her liver and lungs taken
Which were given
To a couple
Who wanted to conceive
Who then ate the liver and lungs
In the hopes doing so
Would boost their fertility
And I read about a dog in Columbia
That was gang-raped
She’d just given birth to puppies
And after the rape she stumbled through the streets
Blood down her legs
She’d been stabbed and punched during the assault
They said her sexual organs had been destroyed in the attack
And that she later succumbed to her injuries
There were photos of this dog
With her blood-drenched fur
And blank expression
I couldn’t stop crying
Knowing how smart dogs are
Knowing how much they feel
Knowing she was in pain
Knowing she was confused
Knowing she was scared
Knowing her final thoughts
Would’ve likely been
Of concern
For her puppies
Maybe she wanted to feed them
Or protect them
Or maybe she just wanted to be with them
I hope she knew
That she didn’t do anything to deserve
What had happened to her
And I read about a woman in Russia
Who was buried up to her head
She died by animals eating away at her face whilst she was alive
Imagine having your ears eaten away
By a pretty squirrel you’d normally fawn at
Or your eyes pecked away
By a bird you’d feed bread to
Imagine being terrified
By animals you’d normally deem harmless
And all this happening to you
Whilst you were fully conscious
And completely helpless
And whilst knowing that these animals
Weren’t to blame
For torturing you to death
And even a far less disturbing news story
But disturbing all the same
About a food delivery company
Accidentally delivering bags of urine
To a customer
Because the driver had no place to go
Whilst on the job
And the subsequent realisation
That everything that’s ever been delivered me
Likely would’ve had someone’s urine-stained hands on them
And all because there are no public toilets
Or allotted toilet breaks
And then my mum telling me about how
They’re going to stop Freedom Passes for the elderly
In the same way they stopped free TV licenses for them
This government doesn’t care
About the vulnerable
Or the working class
People vote for them
Because they believe that
Socialism
Is the same as communism
And they think socialism
Would remove their right to play the lottery
And live out their dreams of being multi-millionaires
So they’ll continue to endure the ridiculous working hours
To barely keep a roof over their heads
For that possibility
Instead of opt for free education
For more freedom
For better pay
For allotted toilet breaks
All because they believe the lies they’ve been fed by the rich
That the only other system is communism
And all these things
Made my stomach turn
And made me think
About all my writing
About all my suffering
And how my suffering seems so abstract and pristine
In such a dirty
And massively evil
World
And yet I have to remind myself
That I mustn’t feel guilt
For writing of it
Because pain is pain
And I’m trying to do something with my pain
So that I’m less of a pain
To myself and others
And that in this way I’m trying to reduce
The aggregate of pain
In this world
And to even possibly
Alleviate the pain of others
By being a voice who gets them
In a world that rarely makes sense
And that that is
Admirable
LYNA GALLIARA 